MY LITTLE ONES

Watching him run

Feeling my heart skip a beat

The loving—the intense loving feeling

It’s better than falling in love

My children are teaching me to be and stay in the moment

About just being quiet

My self that can love so intensely

My self that aches to explore my world

With the innocence of a child

My being that longs once more to soar as a bird, even without wings—all soul

Kailen runs down the grassy know to where his papa digs a hole

A hole to plant a tree for his baby brother

My older boy reaches out to learn

Begs to be taught

I falter sometimes as mother, as parent, as teacher

I become entangled in my must do’s, should do’s, ought to’s

Even my form of discipline

Comes from a place of shaming….my hidden shame and pain

As I see Kailen running with his little legs that can hardly carry him

Quickly enough to his next destination, discovery, recreation

I recollect my own childhood curiosity

I find myself unwittingly, albeit, happily, joyously in the moment

The now

The present

Of being not doing

Of hereness not past or future got to do’s

Not hectic, tight scheduling

Nor nostalgia

His running has returned me to right here

In our kitchen –

Gazing out the window

My little child

Joins his spirit

Quietly, intently

Watchfully

He questions his papa

Learning and being

The dishes can wait

This moment, however, cannot

It is a gift of love that must be!

It demands my attention

Brought to me by my

Child who lives only for now

And I must be present to receive his gift

(Written July 2001)