THE SOUND OF MY LIFE

The sound of my life…

The sound of it echoes past the shadows of my childhood,

Sweeping through the hollows of my young womanhood.

I hear Grace, my Italian neighbor’s resplendent voice, “I brought you some homemade chicken soup.”

I hear my brothers and parents and me decorating the Christmas tree.

I hear our laughter, our teasing, our play on a long journey down to Florida to visit my grandparents.

The sound of my life…

Is like a song from all my day dreaming and fantasizing, about the adventures I might someday take,

Or the fascinating job I might someday pursue.

The sound of my life…

Is the loss of certain dreams, and the lack of excitement I might feel when contemplating a new pathway,

And all the uncertainty and hesitation and anxiety that is life sometimes.

The sound of my life…

Is the fear that I am not a good enough, interesting enough example for my children.

The sound of my life…

Is that I love my son with every ounce of my being.

The sound of my life…

Is stillness and silence.

It is the sadness to know certain opportunities are passing me by,

The angst that I don’t capture the moment and do more.

The sound of my life…

Is the solid knowing that all my dreams are unfolding in their own good, sweet time.

The sound of my life…

Drums on and I feel swept up in everything happening to me and around me.

The sound of my life…

Is the laughter and glee of my son.

The sound of my life…

Is the devotion of my husband.

The sound of my life…

Is the new life that grows even now within me,

With all my doubt entwined with passion and conviction

That is this life.

The sound of my life is my life.

 

 

(Written April 4, 2000 -- I was expecting our second son and I felt the magic of new life within me and the presence of my family around me)